Leadership Negotiation Skills Learned in Middle School

                                                  
                                                  "If you behave …”     (Negotiation)



Classroom Behavior Agreement



To the left, you see a working agreement developed by middle school 7th graders.  At the start of the first day, the homeroom teacher led her 25 7th graders through, what we call in the business world of team, defining a working agreement.  She explained to them this year one of the school’s goals was to eliminate bullying.  She shared with them they were going to go through an exercise of writing down the rules of good behavior for the class.

There were several “bullies” in the class (although they were not pointed out) and it took a while to get them on board with the process. They were split up on all the teams. Once the students got to the "Positives” (what would they gain), they started coming around.  The "Consequences" clinched it.  Once you know what the consequences are then it becomes your decision on whether to follow the rules or not.  At 12 and 13 years old, they more than understood that.  The other area of opportunity that came up during the long discussions was many of the students did not recognize their (poor) behavior.  It wasn’t something that was actioned at home.  If they did something wrong, they received the back of someone’s hand and that was the end of that.  By the end of the class exercise, every student agreed with the list.

Since this was their agreement, one they had created, not the teacher, the commitment was there. When the teacher asked for a show of hands, every student raised their hand in agreement. The Agreement hangs on the wall, visible as soon as you walk in the door (the parents read it when they came in for their parent-teacher introduction).  It serves as a constant reminder (their promise) on manners, courtesy and respect for each other.

  



 

Team Working Agreement (behavior)



The statements above are part of the agreement created with and by a city's department associates.  I took them through the same exercise as the students.  There was a dysfuntionality with the team.  Some had been there for more than 20 years, others just came on board.  The multi-generational gap was great.  The objective was to get them to move to a positive mind-set before addressing anything else.

First, the participants in this workshop broke into groups.  Each had 30 minutes to brainstorm the response to:  "When people see our team, they will see a team that .......". 

After 30 minutes, each team presented their comments.  It was glaring - they were very similar.  Another 30 minutes was spent negotiating the sequence of each statement as well as the wording.

The team working agreement above is an example of the top 10 behaviors in team courtesy, manners, and respect.  The agreement was distributed to all attendees as well as those in other sections of the department.  Not one person disagreed with the list.  A copy hangs in each work place whether cubicle, inside a city vehicle, or office.  It acts as a reminder of (a negotiated) list of appropriate behavior.

Negotiation is defined as resolving disagreements through discussion and compromise (the word compromise is a good thing).  Both team agreements were successful because each was negotiated between those it directly affects.  The desire to make it work increased because it was their (the students, the city team) words, their rules of conduct.  They wanted to be held accountable for its (their) success.

It has been a year since the agreements were placed into action.  Both agreements are used as an introduction for the new members to the class / team.  Both groups continue to achieve their goal and both are happier (and hence more productive) because of it.  In the business world we call it a win-win negotiation strategy.