“this is the last time I'm gonna to tell you!“ (listening)

 (part of the Total Quality Leadership (TQL) Skills series)

How an organization achieves world class quality excellence depends on its leaders within the organization, at all levels of the organization.  Whether your organization has just started its quality journey with ISO certification or are ready to apply for the world renowned Deming award, the critical success factor to world class quality excellence…it’s all in the leadership!

It is my (proven) belief that the leadership skills that make an environment successful are the same skills that we learned when we were little and playing in the sandbox.  The next sandbox skill I want to talk about is listening.

So you ever get the feeling you’d be further ahead if you were talking to a wall?  Children listen for things that impact them positively. 

“Vegetables are good for you”…tuned out!  “I have candy”...tuned in!

Adults are the same:

“Take out the garbage”…tuned out!  “The (insert any sports here) game’s on”…tuned in!

“Is dinner ready?”…tuned out!  “Let’s go out to dinner”…tuned in!

It’s human nature.  If something interests you, you’re listening skills are piqued!  If you don’t particularly care, you’re listening skills are off.

Selective listening is tuning out to anything you don’t agree with or do not want to address.  I share this story as an introduction

A mother is on the phone chatting with a friend.  Her son runs in (as children always do when you are on the phone.  They just have that instinct) and yells, “Mommy, mommy!” Mom assumes it’s the usual nothing, shushes him and asks him “can’t you see I’m on the phone?”.  He does this several more times, finally in an the exasperated tone adds, ”but Mo-o-o-o-m, there’s a fire.” She continues to talk on the phone, ignoring him.  Ten minutes later, as they are standing outside on their sidewalk and looking at the embers of what is left of the house, the child looks up at his mother and quietly says,  “I tried to tell you.”

We assume because we know someone, we know what they are going to say.  We shut them out and don’t hear them.

Leaders need active listening skills.  What do those skills “look like”?  When people are speaking to you, show your interest and enthusiasm for what they are saying.  Body language is critical.  Lean forward and share an acknowledgement (not the little bobbing-head dog - an occasional nod will suffice).  Paraphrase back to them what you heard them say.  Ask them questions that help them articulate what they are trying to tell you.  This tells the speaker you are with them in the moment.  You haven’t tuned them out and are not thinking about what your response is going to be “as soon as they take a breath”.

The open door policy is a people-oriented, team based policy that gives (or makes) Managers the time to talk with employees and ask their opinions.  This is extremely critical especially if you do not have daily or weekly meetings with your associates.  I remember the grumbling that went on when this management philosophy was first introduced.  Managers were aghast at the fact that they were actually going to have to talk to “them”.   note:  this was back in the day when we were living in the “me boss, you employee”,  pre-team management environment.  Look at this way, who does the job 8 hours a day?  Are they not (should they not be) the experts?  “They” can make us look good or they can let us walk off the cliff, shaking their heads, thinking, “We tried to tell you.”

Active listening... a critical skill to your achievement as a leader.