Leadership Negotiation Skills Learned in Middle School

                                                  
                                                  "If you behave …”     (Negotiation)



Classroom Behavior Agreement



To the left, you see a working agreement developed by middle school 7th graders.  At the start of the first day, the homeroom teacher led her 25 7th graders through, what we call in the business world of team, defining a working agreement.  She explained to them this year one of the school’s goals was to eliminate bullying.  She shared with them they were going to go through an exercise of writing down the rules of good behavior for the class.

There were several “bullies” in the class (although they were not pointed out) and it took a while to get them on board with the process. They were split up on all the teams. Once the students got to the "Positives” (what would they gain), they started coming around.  The "Consequences" clinched it.  Once you know what the consequences are then it becomes your decision on whether to follow the rules or not.  At 12 and 13 years old, they more than understood that.  The other area of opportunity that came up during the long discussions was many of the students did not recognize their (poor) behavior.  It wasn’t something that was actioned at home.  If they did something wrong, they received the back of someone’s hand and that was the end of that.  By the end of the class exercise, every student agreed with the list.

Since this was their agreement, one they had created, not the teacher, the commitment was there. When the teacher asked for a show of hands, every student raised their hand in agreement. The Agreement hangs on the wall, visible as soon as you walk in the door (the parents read it when they came in for their parent-teacher introduction).  It serves as a constant reminder (their promise) on manners, courtesy and respect for each other.

  



 

Team Working Agreement (behavior)



The statements above are part of the agreement created with and by a city's department associates.  I took them through the same exercise as the students.  There was a dysfuntionality with the team.  Some had been there for more than 20 years, others just came on board.  The multi-generational gap was great.  The objective was to get them to move to a positive mind-set before addressing anything else.

First, the participants in this workshop broke into groups.  Each had 30 minutes to brainstorm the response to:  "When people see our team, they will see a team that .......". 

After 30 minutes, each team presented their comments.  It was glaring - they were very similar.  Another 30 minutes was spent negotiating the sequence of each statement as well as the wording.

The team working agreement above is an example of the top 10 behaviors in team courtesy, manners, and respect.  The agreement was distributed to all attendees as well as those in other sections of the department.  Not one person disagreed with the list.  A copy hangs in each work place whether cubicle, inside a city vehicle, or office.  It acts as a reminder of (a negotiated) list of appropriate behavior.

Negotiation is defined as resolving disagreements through discussion and compromise (the word compromise is a good thing).  Both team agreements were successful because each was negotiated between those it directly affects.  The desire to make it work increased because it was their (the students, the city team) words, their rules of conduct.  They wanted to be held accountable for its (their) success.

It has been a year since the agreements were placed into action.  Both agreements are used as an introduction for the new members to the class / team.  Both groups continue to achieve their goal and both are happier (and hence more productive) because of it.  In the business world we call it a win-win negotiation strategy.

 



Thank you again

Yesterday's webinar was such a success, I wanted to once again thank the attendees and their participation.  I enjoyed the fact that we had so many different countries represented and everyone had the same in common - the need to move their organization to excellence.  It validates my belief that regardless of global location, we have so much in common. 

Your e-mails this morning encourage further live on-line courses.  I appreciate the kind words and yes, empathy is having walked in your shoes and being able to translate hands-on solutions with others.

I also wanted to thank the many tutors who provided invaluable knowledge on the entire process from start to finish.  I am already preparing for the next one!  (Don't forget to use your giveaway.)

CHECK YOUR EGOS HERE

In January 1985 (yes, I know before most of you were even a thought)  director/producer Quincy Jones together with co-writers Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson (rest in peace) wrote a song titled “We are the World” for the famine relief campaign, USA for Africa. The American Music Awards (Grammy awards) brings the best of the best into LA every year and Quincy felt this would be the most opportune time to develop this project since everyone would be in town at the same time. After the Awards show, the stars gathered together.  Over 30 participated on a night when many had won Grammys and would have rather have been celebrating.  Singers Diana Ross, Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Dionne Warwick, Kenny Rogers, Ray Charles, Harry Belafonte, Kenny Logins, Cyndi Lauper, Smoky Robinson, Hall-n-Oates, Huey Lewis, Jackson brothers, Bette Midler, and Janet Jackson to name but a few.

Quincy had hung a sign on the door outside that read “CHECK YOUR EGOS HERE!” in big, bold letters for each to see on arrival.  He wanted to remind them they were coming to help others.

•          His objective:  Focus on why we are here not who you are!

The song sold over 800,000 in the first weekend it was released and it raised millions of dollars in support of  USA for Africa.  What a team!

A team is defined as a group (i.e. a collection of persons having at least one thing in common) that has developed toward a set of conditions that, in turn, eventually lead the group to extraordinary productivity. Simply, a team is a group of people coming together for the good of the purpose or goal.  The basic purpose of working in teams is the opportunity for several individuals to stimulate the creativity of each other resulting in multiple ideas, instant feedback, and heightened levels of productivity.

Today’s success in any organization large or small is its people.  Empowering employees to make their own decisions based on the education provided is imperative for survival.  Top management must recognize that a true team effort is a benefit to their organization and their bottom line cost savings.  The objective of team building is to understand first that we are successful when we believe in building excellence into every aspect of the organization by focusing on creating a workplace that encourages EVERYONE to contribute.  We too must leave our egos at the door and walk into the workplace wanting to make a difference each and every “today”.

“this is the last time I'm gonna to tell you!“ (listening)

 (part of the Total Quality Leadership (TQL) Skills series)

How an organization achieves world class quality excellence depends on its leaders within the organization, at all levels of the organization.  Whether your organization has just started its quality journey with ISO certification or are ready to apply for the world renowned Deming award, the critical success factor to world class quality excellence…it’s all in the leadership!

It is my (proven) belief that the leadership skills that make an environment successful are the same skills that we learned when we were little and playing in the sandbox.  The next sandbox skill I want to talk about is listening.

So you ever get the feeling you’d be further ahead if you were talking to a wall?  Children listen for things that impact them positively. 

“Vegetables are good for you”…tuned out!  “I have candy”...tuned in!

Adults are the same:

“Take out the garbage”…tuned out!  “The (insert any sports here) game’s on”…tuned in!

“Is dinner ready?”…tuned out!  “Let’s go out to dinner”…tuned in!

It’s human nature.  If something interests you, you’re listening skills are piqued!  If you don’t particularly care, you’re listening skills are off.

Selective listening is tuning out to anything you don’t agree with or do not want to address.  I share this story as an introduction

A mother is on the phone chatting with a friend.  Her son runs in (as children always do when you are on the phone.  They just have that instinct) and yells, “Mommy, mommy!” Mom assumes it’s the usual nothing, shushes him and asks him “can’t you see I’m on the phone?”.  He does this several more times, finally in an the exasperated tone adds, ”but Mo-o-o-o-m, there’s a fire.” She continues to talk on the phone, ignoring him.  Ten minutes later, as they are standing outside on their sidewalk and looking at the embers of what is left of the house, the child looks up at his mother and quietly says,  “I tried to tell you.”

We assume because we know someone, we know what they are going to say.  We shut them out and don’t hear them.

Leaders need active listening skills.  What do those skills “look like”?  When people are speaking to you, show your interest and enthusiasm for what they are saying.  Body language is critical.  Lean forward and share an acknowledgement (not the little bobbing-head dog - an occasional nod will suffice).  Paraphrase back to them what you heard them say.  Ask them questions that help them articulate what they are trying to tell you.  This tells the speaker you are with them in the moment.  You haven’t tuned them out and are not thinking about what your response is going to be “as soon as they take a breath”.

The open door policy is a people-oriented, team based policy that gives (or makes) Managers the time to talk with employees and ask their opinions.  This is extremely critical especially if you do not have daily or weekly meetings with your associates.  I remember the grumbling that went on when this management philosophy was first introduced.  Managers were aghast at the fact that they were actually going to have to talk to “them”.   note:  this was back in the day when we were living in the “me boss, you employee”,  pre-team management environment.  Look at this way, who does the job 8 hours a day?  Are they not (should they not be) the experts?  “They” can make us look good or they can let us walk off the cliff, shaking their heads, thinking, “We tried to tell you.”

Active listening... a critical skill to your achievement as a leader.

“just five more minutes…” (time management)

(part of the Total Quality Leadership (TQL) Skills series)

How an organization achieves world class quality excellence depends on its leaders within the organization, at all levels of the organization.  Whether your organization has just started its quality journey with ISO certification or are ready to apply for the world renowned Deming award, the critical success factor to world class quality excellence…it’s all in the leadership!

It is my (proven) belief that the leadership skills that make an environment successful are the same skills that we learned when we were little and playing in the sandbox.  The sandbox skill I want to talk about today is time management.

Procrastination!  "Tomorrow, tomorrow" is the death toll of many an important action.  At the beginning of every academic year, students (20+ years old) know exactly when their final term papers are due, usually in May, at the end of the semester.  I follow up on timelines right before the Christmas holidays, when they return in January, before they leave for spring vacation, and at Easter.  The question I ask is always the same, “how are we doing on our papers?” Inevitably, the response is a ringing, “great!” “Ok”.  “It’s coming along.”  “Still have 3 (or 2) months before it’s due.”

May comes around, as it always does, and this is what I hear then, “can’t you push it out a couple of weeks?”  “All of our teachers (instructors, professors) have loaded us down.” “Is it due already?” “We have to study for our finals.” “Give us a break”.

The avatar in my head pictures me grabbing my right arm with my left arm to prevent strangulation.  Smiling, I point to the timeline on the wall that has been hanging in place since September and remind them that although I am not their mother, I did follow up with them several times during the year with my mantra “don’t let it go until the end of the year.”   I could feel each of them patting me on the head saying, “Oh Miss, you worry too much.”

“Can’t we just have five more minutes” is a question we expect to hear from youngsters.  Eventually they learn we say what we mean.  “Now means now”.  It’s part of the life-long learning skill of self-discipline and moving past the “instant gratification” phase.   (accurate) Rapid response systems are crucial tenets of über customer service.  Customers, internal or external, need (and expect) it now!  Planning, scheduling, project managing, communication (written and oral), and motivation skills all play a part in managing our time.

The genesis to getting more time for yourself starts with the workplace environment you control - your office, your cubicle, your car, your warehouse.  It’s more than just housekeeping, it’s a mindset change of organization and professional development (O&PD).  Just a thought...attend the No Pain, No Gain, No Instant Pudding class (see button on the top right hand side of this blog) to gain insight on how to get back at least two hours a day of your time.

The next time you hear a child say “just 5 more minutes”, you’ll smile to yourself and be happy you’ve grown out of that phase.

“just tell me the truth..” (ethics)

(the first in a series of Total Quality Leadership (TQL)...Everything you learned in the sandbox)

How an organization achieves world class quality excellence depends on its leaders within the organization, at all levels of the organization.  Whether your organization has just started its quality journey with ISO certification or are ready to apply for the world renowned Deming award, the critical success factor to world class quality excellence…it’s all in the leadership!

It is my (proven) belief that the leadership skills that make an environment successful are the same skills that we learned when we were little and playing in the sandbox.  The first sandbox skill I want to talk about is ethics.

One of the first things we teach our kids is not to lie.  As they get a bit older, we teach them not to steal.  We teach them the difference between “right” and “wrong”.  When we did do something wrong and then tried to deny it (“it wasn’t me”), our parents would say, “don’t lie to me. Tell me the truth and it (punishment) won’t be as bad.”  Today, as adults, we know it’s not so much the initial act itself that gets us in deep hoo-ha, it is the cover-up afterwards. 

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Don’t know unethical behavior when you do it, take a sample test:

Ÿ   Have you ever lied to your boss, a customer, an associate?

Ÿ   Revealed confidential information?

Ÿ   Given or received gifts in return for orders?

Ÿ   Called in sick on a sunny day?

Ÿ   Taken credit for someone else’s idea?

Ÿ   Falsified information on an application blank?

If you answered “yes”, your ethics is to be questioned.

Before acting, think:

Would you take items from a friend’s house as freely as you would from the workplace?

Ÿ   What would your spouse think?

Ÿ   What would members of your church think?

Ÿ   Is there anyone who is important to you who would be appalled?

Faced with the demands of overtime, balancing work and family, and downsizing, a survey of 1324 workers said they feel more stress than 5 years ago, as well as more pressure to act unethically.  Companies are just catching on to the legal need for a strong ethics program.  Under current federal sentencing guidelines, a corporation that is charged with negligence or bad behavior can receive a far lighter fine if it can prove that the evil act violated company policy. 

The objective of your ethics plan should be zero tolerance for unethical behavior.  It’s one thing to say you have an effective ethics compliance system but effective process goes beyond a written report that sits in a drawer.  It has to be a meaningful part of business development.  Does your workplace set high ethical standards, behave in very ethical ways, sponsor training programs on ethics, and stress the hiring of ethical people?  These are some of the initial steps that should be taken to insure that ethics is placed at the top of the values list. 

A better informed public may resist investing in or buying products from companies with damaged reputations.  Brand loyalty is based on the good reputation of the company.  Ethical skills play a large part in validating the values the company espouses.  “The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose”.  Make sure the environment created in your organization is one that “tempts” people to choose to do the right thing.

 

Education webinar reminder:

No Pain, No Gain, No Instant Pudding...

Driving World Class Excellence into Your Organization!

   

Yes, at long last, facebook

After much fighting with myself, I finally decided to join facebook.  It wasn't as easy as everyone said it would be, it took a while.  I decided to create a business page and it took most of the morning to get it done.  I spent much of the time reading and looking at online tutorials which I must say are vey well done and easy to follow.  There are many things I still do not understand but will keep plugging until I do.

I look forward to building my pages and ask you for your (helpful) comments.  Remember, I'm a novice so KIS.  Thanks.

facebook Education-Nonpareil

No Pain, No Gain, No Instant Pudding...Driving World Class Excellence into Your Organization

 Webinar Education Announcement:

The genesis of the Japanese 5S principles is (TQM guru) Dr. Deming's belief that "it's not enough to just do your work or work hard, you must know what to work on".  5S is the mantra to streamlining work flows and office cycle time, a performance measurement for rapid response systems and Über customer service. 

Learn to integrate 5S principles into the work environment (the pain) and achieve multi-fold, value-added increases in productivity levels (the gain).  Discover how 5S leads to savings for the organization and your customers and there's no instant pudding involved.

I invite your participation to this webinar.  I promise you it will be an hour well- spent!

Please check your system’s ability to participate.\\ http://www.anymeeting.com/webconference/systemtest/AnyMeetingSystemTest.aspx

Registration Form URL:

http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E053DB87824C

New Book Release - CREATING YOUR USPs...

Poet Maya Angelou's grandmother once said to her, 

"Those who give...get.

Those who learn...teach."

It is with this quote in mind, I authored the book.

Find a quiet space.  Yes, you're going to have to think.  And, quelle horreur, you’ve going to have to write.  Two required life-learning skills.

BUT, once you finish, you'll know what your USPs are and will be ready to go out and market...yourself!

You might be surprised what you remember!  I was.


Just click the link:    La Petite Femme's Bookstore